thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
