i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
