Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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