Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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