Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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