I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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