OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
