so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
