The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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