guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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