I'm going to jail i love you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
