Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
