He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
