he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
