i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
