dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
