I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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