dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
