I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
