i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
