If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
