i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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