using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
