I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize