I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
