why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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