Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
