I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
