There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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