Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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