I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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