Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
