I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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