Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
