i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
