Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
