Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize