I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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