can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
