i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
