I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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