i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
