Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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