It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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