that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
