Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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