im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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