He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
