you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
