Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
