So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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