She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
