Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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