o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize