I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
