that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
