when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
