That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
