I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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