Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize