I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
