I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
as a side note pls kill me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
