i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
