I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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