New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
