drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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