oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
