hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize