i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
