1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
