You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
