just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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