My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
